Purpose. No, not the Justin Bieber album. The type of purpose I’m referring to is the type that wakes you up in the morning or gives you an endless supply of grit because you feel that you have a belonging in this world. The word purpose comes from the old french word purposer and was eventually adopted into the English language sometime in the early 1800s (history buffs, whaddup?). It’s a seven letter word that encompasses the search most people embark on during their lives. Some find their purpose in being a parent or having a thriving career (or balancing both!). Some, like myself, have searched for their purpose for years and thinking one thing was it to only realize that I haven’t even scratched the surface of what I was put on this earth for. I find it both terrifying and exciting to realize that there is much more to discover and many more people to help.

Mission: Possible

See, my life hasn’t been the cookie-cutter life I had imagined as a young girl growing up as a military child. My timeline of finishing college at 22, marrying at 25, and having my kids before I’m 30 just didn’t pan out. I graduated college at 23, worked odd jobs, experienced devastating heartbreak, graduated graduate school at 28, and I’m single at 29 with no children or prospects for a husband. It’s taken me a couple of years to accept that my life didn’t go according to ‘my plan’. I hit a dark part of my life where I felt like a failure and I felt like I had let everyone down because I couldn’t live up to society’s expectations to find a husband and have the 2.5 kids before I’m “old”. In my own mind, I had failed to find purpose according to the serving size of the American recipe.

What’s the name of the recipe? Asking for a friend

    Sigh. I don’t know how many people feel this same way or have before, but there seems to be this unbridled pressure to acquire the perfect career, perfect family, and to never, ever get old. You’ll be happy if you have the facebook-perfect marriage and you’re the Pinterest-perfect spouse, have an amazing career, and your child is instafamous all before they’ve even said their first word. I often wonder what social media has done to our purpose as human beings and what exactly we are teaching the younger generation. It elicits concern due to the overwhelming data of depression and anxiety rates throughout the U.S. Are we better to be virtually ‘connected’ all the time? 

The particular unchecked box of purpose in my life and yours may look differently and leave us questioning our questions and sometimes, the answers. I think sometimes the idea that we have to have one purpose is a product of what is preached to us from a young age. We strive to find a single denominator in this world that can bring us happiness, joy, and an endless supply of excitement everyday. Looking at the Bible, we see the lives of so many who are highlighted to show their purpose that Jesus assigned them. However, it often crosses my mind that Noah’s purpose was to build the ark, but also to be a father and a husband, a carpenter, and an example of who God is. Mary found her ultimate purpose through giving birth to Jesus but she was more than a mother; she was a wife, a Christ-follower, a homemaker, a woman. A woman who made dinner for her family and had multiple children to raise into functional human beings and a woman who fought with her husband and didn’t have a Target or farmhouse decor.

Before (and after) google maps

Look at Rahab, one of the most (in my opinion) surprising characters we see throughout the Bible. She was a prostitute and someone that everyone in society looked down upon given her profession. She, however, was a survivor and her heart was kept soft and vulnerable. Her single most exemplary deed in the Bible was being a good liar. Yes, a good liar. I’ll try to sum it up, but basically there were spies that were sent by Joshua to examine the fighting force of Jericho (cue veggies tales) in order to gauge what they needed to prepare for. The spies were found out and Rahab hid them in her house. When the Jericho authorities came to her house to get them, Rahab hid the spies under bunches of flax on the roof which protected them from capture. She lied to the Jericho authorities in order to keep them safe. Later, she begged that the spies show her and her family mercy due to her unbridled kindness; she knew who was going to win. They instructed her to place a red cord out the window when the city was conquered to spare her and her family. When Jericho fell, her whole family survived. However, let’s dive into history for a bit. Why was this so unusual? Back then women didn’t have many rights and were expected to marry from a young age, but the reason she was a perfect candidate for the task? She was a harlot, people were used to seeing men come and go from her house so it was business as usual for her neighbors. So what was so good about her? She had faith. She had a soft heart and she knew who God was. She had faith that she had a purpose and that she was a daughter of the King.

We never hear anything else about Rahab until we get to the genealogy of Jesus Christ in the New Testament, yes, God included Rahab in Jesus’ ancestral line. That means, Jesus and Rahab became humanly related. God included her into his ultimate plan, just as he includes all his children. Wow. What hope that gives to us today when we think we’ve messed up our purpose or somehow think we aren’t good enough to be used for the glory of his plan. Jesus called himself the ‘friend of sinners’ and his 33 years on this earth was marked with leading that example. I’m never going to have it all together nor will I ever be the perfect Christian, but I want to strive to change my response to my purpose. I want to try and change how I view the world and make it better align with what Jesus’ was. How he saw people and how he loved people. How he viewed his purpose. I want that. Maybe you’ve never heard that story or maybe you’re not a Christian, I would encourage you to just read about who Jesus was (check out the New Testament first) and dive into who He is. I sometimes wish I could have conversations with these influential women in the Bible to hear their faith, to feel their passion, and to learn from their experiences. I’m thankful I have the ability to at least read the stories of their lives and impact.

Purpose. Purpose isn’t found in materialistic things scattered throughout a huge house or rather or not your life (er, my life) goes according to plan. Purpose can be many different things in your life that may or may not be that exciting. Maybe purpose is making dinner for your family or being there for your coworkers during a stressful day. Maybe your purpose includes the small moments in life that we overlook as mundane but that is all God’s plan to lead you to that “a ha okay, I see you God” moment. Maybe he’s planted you in those moments to lead you to become more reliant on him. Maybe the reasons we feel we have no purpose is because we want to skip the mundane parts and get to our big “aha okay, I see you God” moment a bit too quickly. Maybe we need to be faithful in the mundane to be given the responsibility of those big moments. Maybe we need to be more like Rahab and strive to have faith despite our circumstances, or Noah and have faith despite our friends and family telling us we’re crazy every day. Maybe we need to stop seeking validation from everyone else or trying to perform for the audience that lies behind screens and start seeking Jesus. Yeah, let’s unplan our plans and revel in what Jesus has for us.



What do you think? Let me know in the comments below or connect with us at bethinkgrowco@gmail.com

Prepared for Parenthood?

If anyone has ever said they were truly prepared for parenthood…they lied.  Sure, there are those that plan for their children years in advance and some that prepare everything for that little bundle of joy to enter their lives…but sometimes, that little bundle of joy comes unexpectedly and suddenly. This is where my story starts. 
I clearly remember the day we found out we were expecting. I emphasize we because I don’t think I could mentally or physically survive parenthood without my partner. Some, are not so fortunate and have no choice but to go at this parenthood thing alone and they are beyond superheroes in my eyes. How they manage it all, or attempt to, each and everyday is beyond my capabilities. My hats off to you, as you are the ones who everyday should be reminded that you are one of a kind, for so many different reasons. 

Funko Superman in shallow focus
How I picture single parents

I digress, back to my just finding out story. We were scared. Shocked. A little in disbelief honestly. Still being in my young 20’s, not having everything, or nearly anything, figured out; I just kept thinking how in the world  am going to make this tiny human feel as if I *did* have it all figured out. How could I possibly be someone they look up to forever and ever when I was still figuring out who I am? 

How could I possibly be someone they look up to forever and ever when I was still figuring out who I am? 

Everyone enters parenthood with a worrisome heart. No matter how much people think they “prepare” for it, plan for it, or  find the perfect time for it, it always comes with unexpected surprises. I have always known that I wanted children; the whole caregiver thing just filled my heart with joy. However, it also scared me to have a tiny human solely dependent on me for their survival. I mean, the fear me and my partner had was insurmountable as we realized the depth to bringing another human being into this not-so-perfect world. It is our duty to not only provide for them, nurture them, but also shape them into the best versions of themselves. 

No photo description available.

The next nine months taught us a lot. We not only had to grow up, but we had to navigate an unknown world for the both of us.  We also, somehow, had to prove to others around us that we were in fact capable to face on this new adventure. We had many encouraging people, but we also faced some very doubtful and discouraging people in our lives. We quickly realized we needed our own place and a place for this baby. We moved out of our parents house. We started this wonderful thing every adult dreams about “budgeting” (lol because apparently babies are expensive??) We lost friends along the way…but we also gained some new ones. At the end of the day, one of the most important things we gained in the 9 months awaiting her arrival, is a stable feeling that no matter what is happening, even if the world crumbles around us, we had each other. We had love, trust, and friendship. We began to create a life together. 

The day our beautiful daughter entered the world it was like a switch turned on. That day is etched in my mind as the most indescribable blissful moment. I felt that we had been given this extraordinary gift and it left us speechless that day. As soon as I saw her big brown eyes look up at me, almost any doubt I had experienced seemed to go away. As I held her for the first time in my arms, I was reminded of one of my many purposes in my life, to always love her unconditionally no matter what. To wipe her tears away, to encourage her and push her through the good and the bad in this crazy life. To make her smile and laugh every chance I can. To teach her right from wrong. To protect her and to remind her that she is, in fact, capable of doing anything she wants in life. 

No photo description available.
Isabella Marie (mommy still needs coffee)

Fast forward to almost three years later, we sure have had our shares of awesome, scary, sad, overwhelming, and basically any and every emotion that there is to be experienced (that’s a story for another time). However, If I could go back in time I would not change a single bit of it. Not one argument with my partner, money struggle, long night, sleep regression moment would be changed. Those struggles only made us stronger as a new family and helped us to reach the pinnacle of what we are now. We still don’t have it all figured out, but being thrust into this role propelled us into the role of a lifetime. Taking each day to be grateful for what we accomplished since that first year is what I strive for each and everyday. It isn’t easy, I’m a mom, a sister, a wife, friend, graduate student, and full-time Registered Behavior Therapist. Whew. Balance is what I strive for these days and when I see her smile or hear “mom” from the other side of the house, I know that this journey is all worth it. It takes a village and I am so grateful for mine. 

Image may contain: one or more people, shoes and outdoor

“Taking each day to be grateful for what we accomplished since that first year is what I strive for each and everyday”

So, is anyone ever truly ready for parenthood? Most likely not. But that’s the beauty in each and every parenthood story, that it’s different from everyone else’s. It’s a blank canvas that you can create with pure, raw love. How do you color your parenthood journey? I hope that it is riddled with pockets of joy and a village you’ve created for your own family. After all, whether you think you’ve prepared for this journey or it’s all a surprise, you are not alone and mama, you’ve got this. 



Maria is a full time Registered Behavioral Therapist pursuing her Masters degree in Special Education with an emphasis in Applied Behavioral Analysis. She is a mother to 2.5 year old Isabella and wife to Anthony. She loves Harry Potter, Halloween, and venturing to the many theme parks near her home in Central Florida.

%d bloggers like this: